Sometimes I get hung up on ridiculous things.

As an exercise, let’s try to turn that sentence into a properly capitalized title:

Sometimes I Get Hung Up on Ridiculous Things

‘Sometimes’ is capitalized because it’s the first word as well an adverb. ‘I’ is a proper noun. ‘Get’ is a verb and ‘hung up’ is acting as an adjective describing ‘I.’ ‘Ridiculous’ is an adjective, ‘things’ is a noun, and that just leaves ‘on’ which is not capitalized because it is just a plain old preposition consisting of only two letters.

So, did you catch that? Sometimes I get hung up on ridiculous things.

As in, I miss the point of life because I’m busy googling proper capitalization rules.

I’ve been trying to write a novel for about 6 months. But let’s really focus on how many dresses I own. For what occasions are my dresses appropriate? CAN THEY BE BELTED OR CAN THEY NOT BE BELTED?

Who cares, I ask you, Self? I would really like to be wearing a dress to my first book-signing one day, but let’s cross that little bridge when we come to it, yes? I’m pretty sure dresses will still be sold in 2085, or whenever you finally get your ass in gear. By then, you’ll be a great-grandmother who wears floral nighties to every occasion because she doesn’t give a shit about your new-fangled fashions, so problem solved. (Can a floral nighty be belted? I say yes. But Great-Grandma? She doesn’t care.)

I need to stop distracting myself from important things with unimportant things that I will literally kick myself for in years to come. I’ll look back and want to punch myself for EVER thinking it was a good idea to watch every episode of an idiotic-yet-addicting show like Nashville. Seriously. Those hours could’ve been invested in online shopping reading blogs writing. Or, I don’t know, exercising – so I can spend my great-grandmotherly years being active and showing off those floral nighties all over town.

Flash those veiny legs, Grandma!

That’s off-topic. (But fun!)

Anyways, here’s to a little bit more focus and a little less frenzied obsession over ridiculous things. My mental life could use some paring down and some direction – I already have an idea of what that will look like, but it’ll take some quiet time with some lists to really get things going.